i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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