ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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