I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
