So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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