tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The beer is more important than you right now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
