Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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