Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just cropdusted the office
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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