Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
