This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize