Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!