She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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