ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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