I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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