there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
