i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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