I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
