Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
