He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize