worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
