Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize