whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
