Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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