he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
