i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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