I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
