no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
