I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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