you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Houston, we have a squirter
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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