My friends, they love my intelligence
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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