PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
