one might say we're banned from that church
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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