You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
