I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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