You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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