she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
