its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
