I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
