Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
