woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
