i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
