peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
