You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
