'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize