Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
