i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize