I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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