Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
