tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober