im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
