Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize