You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she peed on how many people?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
