That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
