i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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