You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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