How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
