quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We left the knife in your bed.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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