What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
