So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I will die if light touches me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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