A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
