Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize